Management Today Book Series

Understanding Influence for Leaders at all Levels

Chapter 5: The power of networking
Extract

Robyn Henderson is a best-selling business author and is regarded as a global networking specialist. This is an edited extract from 'The power of networking', the chapter she contributed to Understanding Influence for Leaders at All Levels, AIM Management Today Series (McGraw-Hill, 2005).

One of the greatest opportunities for influence can arise when you build a strong connection with someone who trusts you.

If you build a connection and trust with another person, it is natural for them to speak highly of you within their own networks, thereby potentially allowing you to influence total strangers, based purely on the connection you built with the original person. Picture a house being built brick by brick. Imagine trust being built in the same way---conversation by conversation, contact by contact. The more contact we make, the stronger our connection becomes.

It is for this reason that influential networkers are strong communicators---they constantly make heart-to-heart connections with the people they are speaking to. This means that they are totally present and ‘in the moment' for the length of that conversation. They give the person in front of them total focus; they listen with their heart as well as their ears. The conversation may last for only seconds or minutes, but the recipient knows that they have been heard.

Here are some lessons to be learned from influential networkers about communication.

Constantly work on improving your listening skills. Look beyond the words and observe the tone, inference and body language of everyone in the group.

Communication doesn't start and stop at the employment doorstep. Endeavour to weave networking and strong communication throughout all aspects of your life, embracing these skills 24/7.

Remember to use people's names. ‘Name calling' (using a person's first or full name) in conversations is a very powerful tool.

The better you listen, the better you will remember. An added bonus for having strong listening skills is that you will remember more about previous conversations you may have had with someone. Having the ability to recall some of those highlights at the appropriate time is invaluable in building more trust with that person.

Don't be afraid to ask questions or clarify details. Always be ready to admit that you may not understand something. Don't see such an admission as a weakness, but rather as an opportunity to learn something new and to give the other person an opportunity to share their knowledge.

There is always more to know. No matter how much you know, there is always more to learn and other people have the information that you need. All that is required is for you to find out where and how to make contact with these knowledge keepers. And if you don't know where to find them, someone you know will.

Remember that nobody is a nobody. Everyone is connected to other people, and everyone is a somebody, somewhere. So if you create a poor impression with someone, you will never know who that person knows, or with whom they might share their poor opinion of you.

Not everyone will like you … and that's OK. Despite your best intentions and efforts, some people may not like you. Acknowledge this and accept it. In time you may be able to forge a connection, but for now just accept that they don't like you---they are not a prospect and they may never be. If this person is an entry point into a new network, start befriending others with lesser influence but who are more open to your friendship.